I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
