Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
