i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
