On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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