I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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