I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
