Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
