Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
