the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
honey bunches of taint.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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