That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize