Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
