O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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