Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
