her vagina looked like bernie madoff
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
