You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
