You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
