So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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