I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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