The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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