We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
