Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
