what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
