Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
