I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
