i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize