ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize