im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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