If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
