do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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