Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
