I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
