I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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