But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize