i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Randomize
