xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
