I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize