It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
