we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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