The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm bleeding and have questions
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
