i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
