i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
