So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
