new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize