Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
