remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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