im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
