I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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