I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
