no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
