college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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