I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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