Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
