did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
