I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize