Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize