she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
