My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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